TW RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, RAPE APOLOGIZISM, VICTIM ERASURE, TRANS MISOGYNY
I was in a relationship with Asher Bauer and it was not a very good relationship. He and I never really got along but there is one thing that I’m going to say and that is that I suffered abuse (I was the constant victim of him bullying me and when I would say ‘stop it’ he would not stop which usually ended up with me having to physically intimidate him in order to get him to back down. I was also raped (not by him) and days after it happened I was at a coffee shop and he sexually assaulted me in public - came up from behind and groped me resulting in me nearly tearing his face off I was also constantly devalued as a bottom in a very genital essentialist way and consistently asked him not to think of me in that way and was ignored) from him while in our relationship together. I haven’t really felt like I could say anything and now I feel that I really need to because I’m sick of this.
REMEMBER WHEN WE SAID WE’D LISTEN TO CAMAB EXPERIENCES OF SEXUAL ASSAULT AS MUCH AS WE DO CAFAB ONES? AND THE EXPERIENCES OF PEOPLE OF COLOR?
EVEN WHEN THEY SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE WE LIKE/RESPECT/LISTEN TO/WORK WITH/whatev?
AND DO WHAT WE CAN TO LISTEN, HEAR, THOSE EXPERIENCES?
yeah we didn’t do that.
someone please tell me why i have seen not a peep re this on my dash please. I go on tumblr prob less than five times a day most days, and i knew the ins and outs of the Ira Gray accusations. despite being more involved in both the BDSM and the trans* subcultures at the time this post was originally made than i am on tumblr these days, i had never heard of this.
because we automatically give CAFAB and white experiences (experiences, period, not just of sexual assault) way more attention, signal boosting, and credence in the trans community than we do CAMAB experiences.
and that is some serious bullshit.
ADDITIONAL NOTE: OP is non-binary, don’t use pronouns unless you know the preferred ones for this person!
Seriously, I had no idea about this until right this moment. This is seriously fucked up. I put references to this person in my book, and I’m glad it’s not too late to take it out.
Please reblog this!
**********EDIT September 2nd 2012: I recant what I wrote here. Asher Bauer was not a perpetrator of abuse, but a survivor of this relationship. For more details, click here.
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